I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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