He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
