Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
