I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
