Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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