Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
