Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
