You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
