how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
