you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
