Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
