Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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