How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
