Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
