Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
