yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
