Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
