Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
