thus making me awesome and them whores
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
