someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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