she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
