why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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