Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I see more hoeing in ur future
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
