thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
