Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
