Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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