If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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