Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
