He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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