You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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