What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
In America we eat man semen.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
