Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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