i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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