I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
