I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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