I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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