Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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