he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
high people should be assigned attendants
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
