You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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