Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
