Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
