My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Randomize
