I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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