I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
