He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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