As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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