Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
