wanna go halves on a baby?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
