you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My penis needs a shock collar
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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