Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
