it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
